[The Void]
love is crazy wonderful
2007-06-23
Its one of those things, that I have today accepted as mystery and sacred. Because there is no other way to define my love for him....hmmm my lust as well....in a way that retains the same respect that I have for it.
I am wondering....if its just not a good time to be picking apart the things that are going wonderfully~ to look for the possible bad that can be hidden inside. Its obvious to me, we are having a great time. And anything that unfolds because of it, will be totally dealable.
Can't things just be good because they are? Or must I have that one idea that scratches at all things.
I think there is a part of each man that is on the conquest....always on the next challenge...I just never firgured I would continue to be that conquest. Where I can let go of the reigns for a small part of my day. Feel desired in all different ways. Feel sexy. Feel sought after and still leaving something to the imagination afterwards. My hope is this feeling is not short lived.
My kids are getting older, and I stopped today to take back out my jewerly I missed the last few years. Those dangling earrings....the rings and necklaces. My white see through dresses, and silky outfits. My high heels and even my beloved essential oils. I am finding my will again...even started my jogging once again. Passed the pancakes for my yogurt today. And fruit instead of potato chips...I feel better...not just better but explosive....
*breaks out in song* I feel pretty...oh so pretty....
haha need to back down off the caffiene maybe?
I feel back on the prawl...like I am stalking him all over again. It never truely went away but changed .... now days its more like cooking his favorite meals and clearing the computer space of my debris for him as a special thing. But its more back to the full body massages, and aggresive butt pats when he bends over to fix the sink....that I lied about it backing up to begin with...just wanted him to get into that grey tank and old work pants spread out on the kitchen floor while the kids went with my sis to the store. His signature smile when I had to confess, and realized he had been caught in a snare...
It must be a delicate area for a man to be in, I would think. Somewhere he has to be comfortable and let me run my own life. My bank account, my bills, and my name on my car title. I make my own plans, merely 'check in' to see if it interferes with his game nights with his friends. And, I actually plan those game nights and attend....I love to play Warhammer with his friends. I don't know what men think of Female game players....but we don't bitch too much over models on the kitchen table. On the other be the solid one, when my life gets rough and I have a temper...and appreciate a good standing fight. Be the soft listener, and the quiet one of the bunch when we are out. The gentleman, offering his seat and carrying the heavy things....yet lets me work on the car with him and knows I can lift pretty well and safely. Then unleash this savage beast in bed on occasion. Leaving me sore and smiling with glittering sweat in the morning. I am demanding....I can see that. I am complicated. I can see that too. But I am also....so damn happy. And on the prawl, he still creates this persistent thirst in me. My cheeks still blush...and I still get gitty. Love is fancinating....
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