[The Void]
Today was awesome
2007-10-06
Today was a good healing day for my soul. As I am reading more and more about shamanism and earth centered spirituality the more I am finding my intuitive reactions to the outside world...are actually intune with the basic idea of shamanism. My characteristics I have thought a downfall of a poorly managed ego are actually benefits...wow! what a concept! It felt good, assuring and the more I meditated on the words I read the more I found myself in its context.
However, it was a challenging day for my logical brain. I am training a new asst. that has the intentions so far of being the most nit picky and non teamwork orientated person I have worked with in a long time. I really stressed and coached the teamwork idea. I tried to boost her confidence in that she is greatly skilled, and has wonderful nursing abilities. Then overviewed the common way to deal with co worker issues at our workplace~ direct communication. So far in her 48 hour training she has gone to the manager and other cna's about complaints instead of the person she had issues with. I wasn't sure if this was purposeful, or venting....or maybe trying to secure her position? But I tried to coach a different approach, and more compassion for the employee she was having issues with.....I am the floor preceptor....I hope my words carried over well. By noon she seemed more comfortable and when we talked of the other employee she had the difficulties with....she seemed to have calmed down. And I re vocalized the importance of dealing with that person instead of just jumping ahead to management.
I am still looking for other job possibilities. While the work is plentiful where I am at....I am wanting something different. And still plan to go to college when my little one goes to kindergarten. I would love to have a job that allows me college time. I have dreamed of college.....just prefer to watch my kiddos grow up a little first. I missed out on a few young years of my first born. I don't want to make the same mistake on my second. So far the last five years taking my time in life has produced great results...emotionally and spiritually. It has given me memories no job, position, money can ever replace. I will never regret having children. The feelings of motherhood is beyond words. Your lost in their eyes, the feeling of the cuddling and security only you can give them. You excite at their first 'discoveries'. Your heart seems to be no longer yours and you cry when they cry and laugh when they laugh. I think ....there is something special that happens when you are a parent. When you produce life from your body. Something....only parents can understand.
Other updates...I lost 18 lbs in the last two months, yay me! No dieting either. My heart rate has returned to its healthy 62 instead of the 100's it used to be. My blood pressure has also gone back down to the 110s over 60's instead of the 150's over 80s it was. No medication either which is very rewarding. I have been working on inner healing and energy work for awhile and seeing the results if very supportive to my soul and gives me the strength I need to pursue further into healing medicine spiritually.
So I think, I have had a wonderful year this last year. Fall has cycled and looking back I see where I triumphed where I thought I failed, and where I stepped up instead of falling down. We are now preparing for New Year, and the death of our old selves to open to a greater and more purposeful individual that previously thought. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't scared...I am a bit nervous of what more challenges lie ahead....but isn't that what I asked for? More things to work on to see different visions and grow deeper in love with life and closer with God.
"That of which I am, is seen when I forgive without being asked. Move forward at the pace of light, and know your heart is as grand as mine for we are all One flesh, One breath and One Spirit"
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